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Why I Avoided Wearing Pants

Why I Avoided Wearing Pants

I have avoided wearing pants since graduate school. In grad school, I felt like I had legs for days, even though at 5′ 3/4″, I am a shortie. With a busy schedule of teaching fitness classes for USU undergrads and the local athletic club, I was in great shape! Coupled with my weekend cycling adventures with my roommate, personal daily workouts of cardio, swim, and weights and walking all over campus, I loved my athletic body and I was proud of my lean muscular legs! Fast forward a couple of decades to three kids and working from home my body and legs have taken on a new form. They are dimply, soft, flabby and are covered with stretch marks. So, for a long time, I decided jeans, pants, and leggings were not for me. I would only wear them when I had to and living in Southern California where shorts and maxi dresses rule the world I could get away with it for longer than I could living in Utah.

Reclaiming My Legs

My body is not the same as it was in the mid-20s, obviously, and it won’t be. I am okay with that…though I find myself daydreaming of leaner days! I have been working with a health coach for the last few months and it has helped tremendously. My eating patterns have been out of control. I needed to curb my sugar and carb addiction and wanted to lose this extra body fat. I wasn’t feeling good inside and it showed. I needed help to learn how to eat properly for my health and lifestyle. I am slowly losing that extra body fat around my hips and thighs and am grateful. Yes, I admit I wish this transformation would happen quickly, but to create a sustainable habit, slow progress is better in the long run.

So, recently I wore skinny jeans for an exciting clothing collaboration with Royalty for Me. It was my push to wear denim jeans, though I didn’t feel ready to rock them. I was both excited and apprehensive. Excited because I want to feel empowered and knew that showing my imperfect body wearing denim jeans on social media would help me embrace this head on. Apprehensive because I knew my body was still not in the shape I wanted, and I was worried about negative feedback. Everyone on Instagram seems so skinny! I have never been skinny in my life — fit yes, but never skinny.

After posting my skinny jeans post, I received a notification about a blog comment. I enjoy reading comments from my readers and interested to find out if I had inspired someone to try a new trend or if there was a new question to answer. My heart sank when I read it. It said, “Sorry, but you are too fat and short-legged for skinnies.”

Body Shaming 

This comment made me both sad and mad. Sad that other people can be so mean. I have never posted anything but body positivity on my platforms so I didn’t understand where this comment was coming from. Mad because assuming the comment came from a woman, she is fostering the mindset of competition over community and body shaming. I understand that I am not a size 4 or even a size 6, but I embrace my body. Let me clarify I am learning to embrace my body imperfections and all. It has given birth to three beautiful children and allows me to live a life that is full, blessed, and centered around giving to others.

So, I have had these photos of my mustard-yellow paper bag pants on hold since last fall because I felt insecure. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post them. They were taken the same day I wore my skinny jeans. I wondered if they made my legs or butt look fat. I also wondered if the same troll would come back and attack my bod once again. Well, I decided today I was not going to hold back any longer. I will not avoid wearing pants from now on. I won’t stop shining in fear of others’ negative comments. I will do what makes me happy and feel alive. I believe every woman, no matter what shape or size, can look and feel beautiful and confident in pants or any garment for that matter. I also believe that women need each other more now than ever. My hope is that we can change the environment by stepping out boldly and sharing our voices and unique beauty.

Will you join me on that?

– – – – –

Top: c/o Tobi | Similar here and here

Bottoms: c/o Amaryllis | Similar here and here

Handbag: c/o FabFitFun | Similar here and here

Earrings: c/o Crislu | Similiar here and here

Heels: Karl Lagerfeld Carah Ankle Strap Sandal

Photography by The King’s Rose

 

 

 

 

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@tothineownstylebetrue + @savagemaison

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17 Comments

  1. Deb Jones Okura
    January 28, 2019 / 5:54 pm

    Oh, Debbie! Like you, my heart sank reading about the comment someone left on your skinny jeans blog! You are such an inspiration to all women and you have always been so extremely positive! You truly have the right attitude on addressing this — Keep spreading the positive vibes and keep being YOU! The person who left that comment is the one with the “issues” and they must be a very sad and miserable person. Is it really that hard to be kind?? And what happened to the advice of “If you cannot say something nice, do not say anything at all.” Thank you for rising above and not letting the unkind words of one person hold you back. Today, in this world, we definitely need more of you!!!!! Love you, my friend! You are BEAUTIFUL!

  2. January 29, 2019 / 12:31 pm

    I agree with Deb! That comment should not have been left. So glad to see you pushing past that shame!

  3. Ashley
    January 29, 2019 / 1:27 pm

    Love the mustard pants! You look super chic!

  4. January 29, 2019 / 4:54 pm

    You look great!

  5. January 30, 2019 / 11:45 am

    I am so sorry that happened Debbie. You look fantastic and anyone who says otherwise is delusional. That same person has made those comments on my blog and I think they are in pain themselves, so they try to hurt other people. Always be proud of who you are, as you are thoughtful, smart, kind, and beautiful!

  6. January 30, 2019 / 2:20 pm

    You look great! I am so sorry someone left that horrible comment. The world is so cruel and it is sad people feel the need to hurt other people!

  7. January 30, 2019 / 6:49 pm

    I don’t understand why some people can be so rude. I checked out the post and would have never thought those things. I was thinking you rocked them because I have never liked skinny jeans on myself. I’m sorry someone upset you so much, but I’m glad you have gotten past it now. Those who take down others are usually insecure about themselves. I am not in the same shape I was in college, either, but my body has been through a lot since then, including birthing my two beautiful boys.

  8. January 31, 2019 / 8:00 am

    It is so hard to find clothes that look great and make you feel good about yourself as well.

  9. Angela Tolsma
    January 31, 2019 / 8:26 am

    I love the color of these pants. They look superb on you. I think with anyone who body shames, it’s more about them and less about you. Though it is not an easy thing to have thrown at you for sure.

  10. January 31, 2019 / 8:29 am

    I love leggings but hate other pants, mostly because I have a belly and it’s hard to find pants that are comfortable in that area. But you look AMAZING.

  11. Jacque Hastert
    January 31, 2019 / 8:33 am

    I love this and I think you look amazing. After three kids myself, I find that I don’t wear a lot of shorts or jeans. Mostly workout attire. After seeing this and loving the pants. I am going to have to find a few pairs.

  12. Glenda Kruse
    January 31, 2019 / 3:21 pm

    You look so pretty in your outfit. I don’t have any issues with my legs. However, after having children I have a hard time to keep my stomach looking fit.

  13. Neely
    January 31, 2019 / 4:17 pm

    Those pants are super cute! I used to hate my legs but I have really gotten over it!

  14. Flossie
    January 31, 2019 / 5:43 pm

    OK, first off, you look great in those mustard pants! And second, you look EVEN BETTER in those skinny jeans!!! I am sorry you had a nasty troll on your site; if it were me, I’d just hit “delete” to that comment :). (Did not scroll down to the end to see if that is what you did, but that person has no business commenting on your site IMHO 🙂 .)

  15. Christa
    January 31, 2019 / 11:00 pm

    It’s so important (and often so difficult) to feel comfortable in our bodies. I understand the struggle of learning how to love a “new” body. You are gorgeous and your words are inspiring.

  16. wendy
    February 1, 2019 / 9:37 am

    Wow. That person who left such comment is unbelievable…I think you look fabulous in whatever you wear. I don’t have skinny leggs but I still wear skinny jeans.. I don’t care if people think I’m “too fat” for those jeans. I’m not one who’s 100% body confident but nobody can stop me from wearing skinnies. haha

  17. February 1, 2019 / 10:13 am

    Love your style. You just have to ignore the negative comments. Some people can’t help being negative. You look great as always

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