I grew up tip toeing around other people’s feelings because I hated to disappoint anyone. I would always place my needs, wants, ideas, and opinions at the back burner because I was a people pleaser. You already know that I am a recovering control freak but I think it was worse for me to be a push over in life! Too many times I have felt deflated, disappointed, and used because I didn’t know how to speak up for myself. I was scared of rejection. I am a naturally shy person and it hasn’t been easy for me to voice my feelings and opinions. This is why blogging can be so hard for me because you must be quite open and even vulnerable.
This photo shoot was a very empowering one because it represented so much to me! It isn’t easy wearing a swimsuit around town and getting photographed in front of people. But, I have this weird thing about making myself do things that are really hard. I know only through discomfort and pain can you truly grow! I can tell you that after the photo shoot, I felt strong, more beautiful, and capable! It further affirmed to me the importance of not caring about what others think! Doing what what you happy will literally set you free!
I don’t know if you knew this before, but I resisted blogging for at least a year before I embarked on this blogging journey! There were so many mental blocks in my head. The biggest one is “what would people think of me?” The promptings still came strong after so much resistance to share myself with the world. I knew I needed to follow it. It was time to come out of my shell, share my voice, positivity, and desire to inspire women to live an authentic life. Thus, my blog title of “To Thine Own Style Be True” was born!
This is long overdue but last month marked my two year anniversary of my blog! xo Thank you all so much for your support and love!!! It truly means so much!!!
I want you guys to live your life to the fullest and spare you from any pain and regret for not being true to yourself. The fear of rejection is real! It has prevented me from making decisions, speaking up and sharing my voice. I have struggled with this problem for as long as I can remember. It is embarrassing to admit that. But, I want to be the best version of me and especially so I can be the best kind of mother to my three amazing children!
It has been through the loving support of my husband and by actively practicing self love that I have mostly overcome this — it is an ongoing life lesson! I am human and full of weaknesses (I am okay in admitting that)! However, my faith in God and my knowledge of my divinity continues to uplift, heal, and sustain me.
If anything, this is more of a therapeutic journal entry for me and you guys are probably more emotionally and spiritually mature than I am! So, if this doesn’t pertain to you, please close this window and read something else or better yet humor me and keep reading! Because once I stopped caring about what others thought of me I started to feel more creative, alive, and happy!
Here are five reasons why It is Time to Stop Caring About What Others Think of You!
No. 1: Negative Comments are About Them and Not You
I remember the first time I received negative comments on social media. The person who commented under a fake name said that I was fat, had fat legs, fat body, was a fake, and an old lady! Yikes, these are comments really no one wants to hear. But, honestly these comments are a reflection of the person who made them and not about me. For a moment, I considered not posting images of myself because I didn’t want more attacks on my body. But, I realized I wasn’t going to let their opinion dim my light and the best revenge is shining brighter!
No. 2: Do They Really Care? No, not really!
As a teenager I remember second guessing every decision I made because I was worried about what my friends and people (complete strangers) would think of me. I now know they really didn’t care! LOL! I wasted all that time worrying about nothing. I see the same pattern in my sweet girls and I lovingly remind them that their friends too are probably just as self-conscious and they need not care about what others think. We often go about our days thinking people are judging us. But, really most aren’t, they are too wrapped up in their own worlds! This is a perfect moment to practice self love and do things that make you happy and not care what others think.
No. 3: We are all Imperfect People
Understanding that every one on this planet is not perfect helps us not judge ourselves and others. I can’t tell you how many times I would compare myself to someone else and as I got to know them better I realized they had problems of their own too! This didn’t make me love them less but actually love the more. My respect for them grew more because they become more relatable and human to me. We are supposed to make mistakes here on earth. The beautiful part of this learning process is growing from it. Make your decisions confidentially and if you have made a mistake, learn from it, and move on. Give other people that grace too!
No. 4: Be True to Yourself
This is something I remind myself daily and teach my kids time and time again….be true to yourself! I don’t want them to live a life that would please me. My goal is to have my kids live an authentic life that is true to their life mission! I don’t know if that made any sense? Let me know if it does. Our life is our life to live, no one else! Never question yourself. Follow your gut instincts. At the end of the day, you must make yourself happy. If you are not true to yourself, you are hurting yourself. When you follow your heart, life will feel more fulfilled and joyous!
Photography by Bleudogfotography
No. 5: Remove Negative Influences
I have learned the hard way that not all people want the best for you! Some people will be jealous of you, hate you, and even try to sabotage you. It was hard for me to remove myself from situations and people because I have a big heart…this ability to love hard has taught me important life lessons. I have learned to discern who and what is deserving of my precious time, energy, and effort! I thought I could save people but realized people can only help themselves. Any influence that is negative or draining must be cut off from your life. Making this decision has brought great clarity and safety to my soul and improved my emotional well being. We all deserve this!
You Reap What You Sow
It is my hope that my five reasons why It is Time to Stop Caring About What Others Think of You has made an impact…even if it was a small one. There are going to be some people in life that dislike you and there is nothing you can do about it. Stop wasting your time on people and things that don’t matter. Instead focus on the things and people in life that do. Improve yourself and share your talents, gifts, and energy with people and causes that truly bring you satisfaction and purpose. Really try to not care what people think and practice this daily. It gets easier I promise and don’t forget to be kind to others too!
My outfit details:
Black Monokini: c/o Windsor
Faux Fur Coat: c/o SHEIN
Statement Earrings: old: SHEIN
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HEY SEX POT!!!!!
Ok, first of all, you are stunning and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise! I am similar that I am not very confident a lot of the time, but I am working on it as well. This black swimsuit is amazing, I haven’t worn a one piece in a long time but would love to try this one on.
I just bought a black one piece for the first time this year and I love it! You look great!
Congrats on marking your 2 year blogging journey! Kudos for also pushing yourself and not being concerned with what other people say about you! Live your life and keep on shining girl! You’re working that swimsuit and reminding me that I need to work out before hitting the beach lol
We often think others care more about us then they actually do. Everyone has their own life to worry about so we really should stop thinking everyone is concerned with how we look, think or act. We should be compassionate to ourselves and celebrate our successes, qualities and even our flaws. Because the only opinion that truly matters is our own.
This has been something I’ve struggled with my whole life. it’s hard not to tie your self worth into other peoples opinions when that’s what you’re taught from a young age in todays society. Thank you for being a badass and showing women everywhere to do what the hell makes you happy!
You are killing it girl don’t ever let anyone tell you different! You look amazing!
When I was in high school and college, I struggled with hearing negative opinions from many. It made me have less confidence and not enjoy life to the fullest. After moving back to the US, I still had to deal with negativity which brought me down. I had to get rid of it, in which I did. I feel better that I did that because now I feel like I can get more things accomplished and do what my passion is. Congrats on your 2 year blogging journey.
This is a such a nice post and I enjoyed reading it. I am glad that you overcome your fears and now your are already a strong person showing to everybody who you really are and that you are more capable doing other things like this. Happy 2nd anniversary to you, more power and keep going!
I am one to find empowerment in what I can do, not what I can wear. I LOVE that this made you feel more beautiful and more powerful as a woman!
It is great to find what empowers us. Great job! It is great to not worry about what others think. I agree that it is so important.
You look so stunning. Love the message behind this post and the photos that accompanies it too!
Happy 2 year anniversary to you! I think it’s important to challenge ourselves with hard things too.
You look beautiful in all photo and I am glad that you overcome your fears. Happy 2nd Anniversary to you and more power!
Oh man, I stopped caring – LONGGGGGGG AGO!!!
Love this post! I can relate to that and I am slowly learning to stop caring what others think of me! You are one hot mama in this swimsuit❤️ xo
Everyone must learn the art of living the life completely. Stop caring about others, what people say or think about you. Always try to live a happy life and enjoy what you have! Your pictures are really nice! 🙂
You are amazing Debbie! I love these photos and your confidence. Good work girl.
Great post, you look amazing! I admire your confidence, always good to remember to not care about what others think!